Lancashire, eh? You have my sympathies, sir.
Actually, Lancashire is a fine place. I lived in Preston for three years and loved it, plus all our cats have been from Lancs.
I'm not from Yorkshire either, I just lived in Leeds for a bit as it is my wife's home town. I was born on the open seas (long story) but brought up in the delightful town of Birkenhead (or as I like to fondly remember it...Birkenhell). It made Ciudad Barranquilla look like Trumpton in comparison.