Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 

Author Topic: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8  (Read 483 times)

Cyberleader2000

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 585
  • Voted most anoying guy on the internet problay
    • View Profile
    • My Blog
Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« on: 10 February, 2010, 01:21:06 AM »
Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8 over the years I have reeditied this a cople of times and resubmiteed it fore home work and got a a every time this is the originil and only serviving edit as the outheres were lost when my computer died.


Forever Clean

Medowdale, a Quiet Peaecful village in the Yorkshire dales. The early morning quiet was shattered when the community was woken up by the rumble of several large vans arriving along the main street. Men jumped out and placed a large blue bottle and an envelope on every doorstep. People looked out of the window, and saw what was happening, went down to investigate and take the bottles inside. Forever Clean it said on the bottle the only cleaner you will ever need. Mrs King took the bottle into the kitchen and opened the envelope. Inside was a blue sheet of paper which said, Forever clean is a new type of product, from forever Pharmaceuticals, which will eradicate all germs in the home, not only from surfaces but as the liquid evaporates, it will kill germs in the air. She opened the bottle, it contained a thick blue liquid that smelt faintly of roses. She thought that she might as well try it as it was free. Getting out a cloth she wiped down all the surfaces in the kitchen, at she left the room there was a faint smell of roses in the air. A few days later Mrs King felt unwell, sick with a stomach ache.


I dont want to post the whole thing as I dont want it pelagrised but if you want the rest I will pm you the link to where I fulle uploaded it.
« Last Edit: 10 February, 2010, 01:25:10 AM by Cyberleader2000 »

Emperor

  • Administrator
  • Bionic Fingers
  • *****
  • Posts: 6815
  • Divine Wind
    • View Profile
    • Me at Tumblr
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #1 on: 10 February, 2010, 01:54:04 AM »
Just be careful these folks don't come looking for you:

www.forever-clean.co.uk
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Fractal Friction | Tumblr | Google+

Emperor

  • Administrator
  • Bionic Fingers
  • *****
  • Posts: 6815
  • Divine Wind
    • View Profile
    • Me at Tumblr
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #2 on: 10 February, 2010, 02:08:44 AM »
Anyway having read the full thing (I'm sorry I went and looked it up on my own) - its not too shabby for an 8-year-old. I'd be a bit scared to go and dig out my old schoolbooks from a similar age, partly because a few of the stories I remember would probably have got me sent to the shrink in this caring and sharing age. That said perhaps we should have a "show us your pre-teen work" thread, or not. ;)

You do need to spellcheck such things when you put them online as it can be a real pain picking through the text (especially so with the other story I found, which I had to give up on). You can get browser plug-ins that do it automagically.
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Fractal Friction | Tumblr | Google+

Cyberleader2000

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 585
  • Voted most anoying guy on the internet problay
    • View Profile
    • My Blog
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #3 on: 10 February, 2010, 11:03:21 AM »
Anyway having read the full thing (I'm sorry I went and looked it up on my own) - its not too shabby for an 8-year-old. I'd be a bit scared to go and dig out my old schoolbooks from a similar age, partly because a few of the stories I remember would probably have got me sent to the shrink in this caring and sharing age. That said perhaps we should have a "show us your pre-teen work" thread, or not. ;)

You do need to spellcheck such things when you put them online as it can be a real pain picking through the text (especially so with the other story I found, which I had to give up on). You can get browser plug-ins that do it automagically.

if your on about the dark convoy story thats an uneditied  trile im still working on it

Emperor

  • Administrator
  • Bionic Fingers
  • *****
  • Posts: 6815
  • Divine Wind
    • View Profile
    • Me at Tumblr
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #4 on: 10 February, 2010, 02:30:27 PM »
if your on about the dark convoy story thats an uneditied  trile im still working on it

I don't want to harp on about it but not only is the Dark Convoy story unreadable because of the typos but I don't understand the reply.

Whichever browser you use there is something to help:

http://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/browse/type:3

http://www.iespell.com/
http://www.ie7pro.com/spell-checker.html
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Fractal Friction | Tumblr | Google+

Cyberleader2000

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 585
  • Voted most anoying guy on the internet problay
    • View Profile
    • My Blog
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #5 on: 10 February, 2010, 02:46:13 PM »
if your on about the dark convoy story thats an uneditied  trile im still working on it

I don't want to harp on about it but not only is the Dark Convoy story unreadable because of the typos but I don't understand the reply.

Whichever browser you use there is something to help:

http://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/browse/type:3

http://www.iespell.com/
http://www.ie7pro.com/spell-checker.html

internet explorer is what I uses and i said the dark convoy story was a ider that im still working on I put it up to get people opiouns on it

Dandontdare

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 4847
    • View Profile
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #6 on: 10 February, 2010, 02:49:34 PM »
I make many more typos when at work on I.E. because I've got so used to the wonderful automatic spellchecking in Firefox. I can bash out my reply as fast and sloppilly as I like, and that wiggly red line then allows me to spot and correct any mistakes. in I.E., I have to manually proof read every word.

Cyberleader2000

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 585
  • Voted most anoying guy on the internet problay
    • View Profile
    • My Blog
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #7 on: 10 February, 2010, 02:52:31 PM »
I make many more typos when at work on I.E. because I've got so used to the wonderful automatic spellchecking in Firefox. I can bash out my reply as fast and sloppilly as I like, and that wiggly red line then allows me to spot and correct any mistakes. in I.E., I have to manually proof read every word.

I did not know Firefox had spell check.

Mike Gloady

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 4836
  • Mikey give you SMUSH!
    • View Profile
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #8 on: 10 February, 2010, 04:53:04 PM »
There's something faintly Richard Herring about this unearthing of pre-teen fiction.  Well done for having the stones.  If I'd not recently burnt all the schoolbooks and bad photos my mother had hung onto (it's ok, she's dead so won't mind) I'd consider ungoing a similar feat. 

I'm pretty sure mine would suck hard and be spelled worse.
New in town?  Follow this link for a guide to the Greatest Threads Ever

Cyberleader2000

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 585
  • Voted most anoying guy on the internet problay
    • View Profile
    • My Blog
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #9 on: 10 February, 2010, 04:58:29 PM »

Alski

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 830
    • View Profile
    • Flatscreen Flatline
Re: Forever Clean A story I wrote when I was 8
« Reply #10 on: 11 February, 2010, 09:04:13 AM »
It's... a story by a kid. Not bad considering, but there you go.
"Flatscreen Flatline" - A Blog about TV and Film: http://flatscreenflatline.blogspot.com/

Blog 1 = Spartacus: Gods Of The Arena
Blog 2 = Paul - A film review
Blog 3 - 3D is rubbish, mostly...