Life Spugs because...

[House of Usher]

Thanks, both. I won't make a meal out of it. It's just a dozen factors all coming together at once to make life kind of difficult. Lack of sleep from keeping up with the pace of work doesn't help. It's an ongoing saga, really. All could have been avoided by not being too ambitious and opting for a simple life.
 
At least the missus and I have a place of our own and very good health, so there's plenty to be thankful for.

[Roger Godpleton]

Y'know what helps me when I'm down. Burger King. Go on. We won't tell.

[locustsofdeath!]

All could have been avoided by not being too ambitious and opting for a simple life.

You don't strike me as a simple fellow, Usher. So maybe working through this is best. At the end it will all be worth it. Sorry for the cliche 'look on the bright side' post, but cliches are cliches for a reason I suppose  .

[TordelBack]

Lack of sleep from keeping up with the pace of work doesn't help.

Very little fucks with your mental well-being like persistent shortage of sleep. If there's any way you can arrange an evening off and a long snooze, you might find solutions to some of your other problems waiting for you when you wake up.  Even if you don't, they won't seem as bad with a clear head.

Take it from a man who's been averaging 3 hours a night since his second bundle of joy was spawned.  My head is like candyfloss spun from turds. 

So no change there.

[House of Usher]

Thanks for all the goodwill. I've nothing else to say really, except I'm off for a nap. Some things will look different when I wake up, some things won't, but I can at least tidy up later on and concentrate on getting things done that should make things a bit easier and increase the chances of success in my next desperate attempt to improve my lot.

 


And thanks for the Burger King tip! I'm not really hungry, though. I had a cheese and cucumber sandwich for lunch. It sufficed.

[Mike Gloady]

Thinking of you Usher.

Cheese and cucumber?  Mmmmmm.  Nice.

[Roger Godpleton]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2009/oct/23/uk-economy-lonest-recession-record

[SmallBlueThing]

...because I have just done one of the most disgusting things it is possible to do.

Ahem.

I can't believe I'm posing this.

I just went to the toilet. While sitting on the toilet, I noticed a slug on our bathroom floor- so I took some bog roll, leaned forward and picked it up, so I could flush it- which is what I usually do with the little bastards.

However, I was then distracted by a text message, and when I had read it, proceded to absent-mindedly wipe my arse with a slug. I felt it burst on my ringpiece.

Laugh or be sick and die- it was a hard decision. I couldn't leap up and run away, there's no escape from your own arse.

I go now, in my shame.

SBT

[Dark Jimbo]

EUUUURRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

I have a pathological hatred of slugs, and you've described possibly just about the single worst thing I could think of.

From now on, no matter how bad things get, I'll always be able to think 'Oh well, at least I'm not wiping my arse with a slug.'

[Minkyboy]

* Minkyboy speechless

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Hey SBT didn't your good lady have a slug episode the other week.
What is going on down Hastings, Invasion of the Slugs.
"Quick get the salt."

"No, don't waste salt, we shall teach them a lesson for invading our homes, we shall wipe our arses with them."

[Dandontdare]

I'm a balcony gardener constantly at war with slugs. In summer, I go out nightly (with my pipe and torch) and give dozens of slugs a trowel-assisted flying lesson.

I can't stand squishing them 'cos it's gross and squishy.

Wiping my arse with a burst slug - that's about as disgusting as I can possibly imagine!

there's no escape from your own arse.

Possibly the wisest statement ever.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

A couple of years ago I did a week of slug hunting in our back garden. I collected loads of the little shits each night and the next morning I placed them on the road outside our house and pissed myself as various vehicles drove over them

[SmallBlueThing]

Yep, she drunk one in her coffee.  

We have a terrible slug problem here- luckily, I'm not overly worried about them (except when they wettly explode on my anus, obviously!) and my kids just think they're cool. My wife though, just freaks out at the merest glimpse. We've got all sorts- teeny tiny ones and huge monster-slugs about four inches long, with speckled backs. I've become quite a connosieur.

Have tried everything, bar slug-pellets, to get rid, but I figure they have every right to exist, so I just salt in the obvious places and we tend to ignore them- flushing when we see one.

I'm not going to crush any more between my buttocks though.

SBT

[House of Usher]

EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!