Life Spugs because...

[grimmy]

...I cant get a decent kebeb  

[TordelBack]

Oh, and I splashed toxic chemicals into my mouth last night.

Quick, grab a typewriter and huge roll of paper and (apocryphaly) write a stream-of-consciousness novel featuring (thinly disguised) friends and family!  It's bound to be a winner!

[TheEdge]

Quick, grab a typewriter and huge roll of paper and (apocryphaly) write a stream-of-consciousness novel featuring (thinly disguised) friends and family!  It's bound to be a winner!

a friend of mine did that its called room 43, the character based on me isnt nearly bloodthirsty or nerdy enough fo my liking

[SuperSurfer]

Left a reasonably well paid but unbearable job last year. Working direct for a very, very difficult client who has caused me some sleepless nights, but must persevere as no money in for few months now.

[JayzusB.Christ]

...the Irish government think that sending all drunk people out of pubs at the same (early) time will improve the problem of angry drunk people on the streets.

But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."

Oaf. I thnk i could dream up some far, far greater pains for him if he'd ever like to call round and put his life into perspective.

[Roger Godpleton]

I always thought I would be Dr Pepper 4 life, but lately I've come to appreciate Cherry Coke as being more than a throwaway gimmick. Which do I choose?

[Shaky Caned]

And Kanye West said this: "God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God's vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."

That's a (unintended) great line though, if you were writing the dumbest, most self regarding character imaginable you'd be ecstatic if you came up with something that good! Cheered me up, it has.

[Bouwel]

Quick, grab a typewriter and huge roll of paper and (apocryphaly) write a stream-of-consciousness novel featuring (thinly disguised) friends and family! It's bound to be a winner!

Unfortunately the chemical concerned was just a heavy metal saturated etching mix. Nothing mind altering. Well, saying that it might alter my mind as a few of the remaining brain-cells I have evaporate!

-Bouwel-

[brendan1]

...13 years of university and I'm earning £12,000 a year. I keep losing out on jobs that pay 50% more than I earn because I lack level 3 qualifications and skills like 'Diploma in Housing Management', 'web design', 'proven admin experience', 'NVQ 3 whatever', and 'BTEC in leisure and tourism'. Most of these jobs require skills I could pick up on the job in a fortnight (not sure about web design!), but other people have actually done courses in all this crap. I can't take courses in all of them just on the off-chance, because every scarce vacancy that crops up demands some different specific skill I don't have which is incidental to the job at hand. Being educated just doesn't fit the narrow selection criteria applied by human resources twats any more. Don't waste your time getting an education. I can't recommend it. Get training instead.

But you've all heard this one before.  

If it took you 13 years to get through University, you should be thankful you have a job at all.

[Roger Godpleton]

...13 years of university and I'm earning £12,000 a year. I keep losing out on jobs that pay 50% more than I earn because I lack level 3 qualifications and skills like 'Diploma in Housing Management', 'web design', 'proven admin experience', 'NVQ 3 whatever', and 'BTEC in leisure and tourism'. Most of these jobs require skills I could pick up on the job in a fortnight (not sure about web design!), but other people have actually done courses in all this crap. I can't take courses in all of them just on the off-chance, because every scarce vacancy that crops up demands some different specific skill I don't have which is incidental to the job at hand. Being educated just doesn't fit the narrow selection criteria applied by human resources twats any more. Don't waste your time getting an education. I can't recommend it. Get training instead.

But you've all heard this one before.  

If it took you 13 years to get through University, you should be thankful you have a job at all.

Psst, he's a PhD having person.

[Roger Godpleton]

Debate: ITV is in Deep Shit. Aside from the obvious human cost, do you give a fuck?

[Old Tankie]

I think you're definitely one of life's "the glass is half empty" chaps, aren't you, Ush?!!

[brendan1]

Psst, he's a PhD having person.

Degree: 3 years
Masters: 2 years tops
PhD: 3 years

[Buttonman]

Apart from TV Burp (which is too samey to be 'must see') I don't watch anything on ITV which seems to be endless soaps, gameshows and celebrity tat. I'm no intellectual elitist (!) but if it folded tomorrow I wouldn't notice for weeks. I just wish its misfortunes were down to a groundswell of public opinion against its tacky schedule rather than a fall off of ad revenue.

Life spugs because I don't know where to buy runescape money or ropey TV boxsets. Can anyone help?

[House of Usher]

Degree: 3 years
Masters: 2 years tops
PhD: 3 years

What's your point there, exactly? Since when did a Ph.D. take a uniform 3 years to complete? Is that a McDonald's Ph.D. you're estimating there? You neglected to factor in an additional 1 year for a PGCE (PCE).

Tordelback, your friend working for nothing, nursemaiding the guy who got the job, is a fool! No way, no how would I do what he's doing. And my brains aren't nearly as scary as yours! You're... you're...       erudite, man!