Hilarious Headlines!

[House of Usher]

"Failblog fails at idiomatic English"

It's 'throes' of passion, not 'throws'.

No, I don't know what 'throes' means either, but there it is.

[James Stacey]

Ball player gets Beaver ban after drunken naked tasering
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/08/24/football_tasering/
God bless ya El Reg

[Withnail's liver]

one Sun classic when Elton John married his partner:

"Elton takes David up the aisle"

and a provincial classic from our local rag. This wasn't so much a headline, just in all the "A" boards that the papers put their banner headlines outside news agents.  This one was put out the day after a recent apocryphal date which foretold the end of the world:

STOP PRESS!

World does not end!

[johnnystress]

http://wearecentralpa.com/wtaj-news-fulltext/?nxd_id=203465

Butts Arrested in Boob Murder Case

[Noisybast]

No, I don't know what 'throes' means either, but there it is.

throes
plural noun pains, spasms, pangs, fit, stabs, convulsions, paroxysm The animal twitched in its final death throes.
in the throes of something in the midst of, in the process of, suffering from, struggling with, wrestling with, toiling with, anguished by, agonized by, in the pangs of The country is in the throes of a general election.

[johnnystress]

http://moondogsports.com/2010/06/16/man-caught-having-sex-with-cow/

[SmallBlueThing]

Not strictly headlines, but some years ago a friend of mine brought back a postcard from holiday, that famously had the legend across the front, "My Cock Stinks At Whitley Bay".
What??
SBT

[Spartacus Hughes]

Not strictly headlines, but some years ago a friend of mine brought back a postcard from holiday, that famously had the legend across the front, "My Cock Stinks At Whitley Bay".
What??
SBT

That was given away in Viz or somesuch as I used to have it and have never been to Whitley Bay, my cock does stink though.

[Noisybast]

The Liverpool Echo made me chuckle perversely on Saturday with "ZOMBIE JAILED FOR HALLOWEEN AXE ATTACK".
Probably says more about me than the paper, though...

[Adrian Bamforth]

I recall when Mother Teresa recovered from an illness the headline was the puntastic: "Nun better".

[dweezil2]

A term used often used in headlines, 'Burglars Strike', implying that they have their very own workers union never ever fails to amuse me!
Still, knowing how screwed up our legal system is, they probably have!

[johnnystress]

As good a place as any for this

http://gawker.com/5636011/stupid-california-police-warn-parents-of-pedobear-the-pedophile-mascot?ref=nf

Stupid California Police warn parents of Pedobear-the pedophile mascot

[Beeks]

Surely the all time classic is when Inverness beat Celtic 1-0

Super Cali go ballistic - Celtic are atrocious

[pauljholden]

The BBC tweet headlines that don't often match up with the actual article, usually for space reasons - 140 character limit on twitter.

Recently they tweeted:
 
Barber: "public will not accept cuts"
For this article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-11278479

[johnnystress]